Space Boffins Admit 30 Year Old Hoax

Clever-heads at the European Space Agency ar_25have finally admitted that the 1986 mission to Venus was actually a hoax.

The Thirty Year Rule on classified material means that full details on the ill-fated mission have finally been made public.

The mission, which was the first to use the “Ariane 2” rocket system, launched on May 31st 1986, just days after its official announcement by Captain Joey “Troy” Tempest and crew on May 26th.

Problems with the “Third Stage Ignition” led to the belief at the time that mission had been a failure, but the ESA maintained that all was well and on track. Communication from the crew were documented until 1992, when contact was lost.

It was not until 2003, when members of the crew were spotted working again with the World Aquanaut Security Patrol, that the disapproving frown of suspicion glared upon the “facts” and saw something rotten.

Tempest and “‘phones” Norum began to appear in public more often, openly talking about the mission, yet the ESA maintained they were still heading for Venus.

The freshly released documents show, however, that the mission was aborted at the last minute due to a known fault with the French-engineered Ariane rocket,  and the crew placed under protective supervision. This clearly explains how they vanished without a trace for years.

Many of the Ariane engineers later worked on the Citroen Picasso project, which took French engineering excellence to a whole new level.

Tempest and crew were allowed to return to their submariner duties, but instructed to keep a low profile. Something that they clearly failed to do.

The current head of W.A.S.P, Commander Steven Lawless, was unavailable for comment.


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