Sodor Engine No. 3 “Henry” has reminded media once again to the fact that his current incarceration (self imposed or not) has nothing to do with the issue of Sodor leaving the Toytownshire Union.
Henry, the Green Engine, once more wishes to make it clear that his refusal to move is part of an Industrial Action concerning a safety issue with the management of Sodor trains.
A spokesman for Henry has pointed out that he would never be allowed in the Channel Tunnel due to the Smoking Ban, and that the HS1 line from London into the tunnel is double tracked with Overhead Line Equipment anyway.
Henry, who originally took to lurking in the tunnel because he didn’t like the rain, has embraced the concerns of staff and passengers on the South West Sodor line, believing that the removal of Guards from the train causes a serious safety issue.
“A driver can’t do it all,” he said. “A driver should have one responsibility, and that it to control the engine.”
“Sometimes, ” he admittted, “we can go a bit self-willed, and it takes the driver’s full attention to curtail us”.
Henry also expounded on the full function of the Guard.
It would seem that in the event of an accident or incident that renders a train stationary, It is the responisibily of the guard to ensure that the train is protected from collision by means of applying safety devices, some of which should be quite a distance from the train.
“Should one of go off the rails”, he said, smirking, “our following and approaching friends need to know. That is the Guard’s duty. No Guard, so safety – it really is that simple”
Henry has since been suspended from South West Sodor Railways.
On the matter of him now occupying a vital tunnel on one of the main lines, SWSR, which is now owned by the Magic Bus Company, issued the following statement:
“We don’t actually care about this. Actually, can you amend that so it has an asterisk at the end istead of ‘this’?”
“That way we can claim that we don’t care about our staff, customers, shareholders, or regulatory body. In fact, F**k them all!”
The Sodor South West Railway Company was bought out this morning by the Happy Goodluck Number Eight Yutani Foxcon HK Docks Conglomerate, based in the Cayman Islands.